Can I Blame It On The Chemo . . .

Ok, I know that I have written about this topic a couple of times over the last several months, but redundancy is good, right?

Clearly, it still surprises me.

For those of you who followed me on Caringbridge as I was going through chemo, you might recall that one of the side effects for me of chemo was “becoming chatty.”  Prior to this, I was never, ever, never, ever, ever accused of being chatty.  After the chemo drugs left my body, I became somewhat less chatty, much to the relief of my family (unless the topic was my new, non-original bladder).

Fast forward to about two months before I retired and I was back to a classic introvert, looking at my shoes when I talked to people (unless the topic was my new, non-original bladder).  So, I thought I would be able to pursue quiet, introvert type stuff, like writing, reading, and other solitary pursuits.  In order to prepare for this, I rented an office in the basement of an office building about 12 blocks from our house.  Not only was the office in the basement, it was at the end of the hall, where I would likely have limited contact with humans, thereby allowing me to pursue these solitary endeavors.

I no longer have this office.

I no longer look at my own shoes.

I am writing and reading less now than when I was working.

When I look at my calendar for the next month, it scares me.  There are scary “people things” on my calendar just about every day!

Can I blame it on the chemo?  No, that has been out of my system for three years.  Am I following Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice to do something that scares me every day?  No.  I would not do this voluntarily.  It started when I asked God the question Why? and What Do You  Want Me To Do?  And God answered differently than I expected.


A Boomer In Transition


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