Socialism on the Plane

I traveled on a plane last week and intentionally put myself in the last row by the bathroom.

As I have stated before, I travel so infrequently now, that all of my flight status has been completely taken away.  I guess in some ways, I am now a socialist.  So, like most socialists, I act like I know nothing about the airport or the airplane and even seem surprised when I get a bag of peanuts rationed out to me.  I used to take great pride in knowing the configuration of a Embraer 170 or an MD90 or an Airbus 320.  I even knew that on the outbound flight, I would get orange chicken in business class.  What is orange chicken anyway? And why do we have to eat it on an airplane?

So, if I am not going to get a good seat in the front with the millionaires and billionaires, or an acceptable seat in the near-front (referred to as “comfort” seats as  inside joke in the airline industry),  then I might as well  be near the bathroom. This is the only choice I get to make in the socialism of the plane.  The people 15 rows ahead of me also only get one bag of peanuts and a seat that is no better than mine and if they want to get to the bathroom, they have to wait for the aisles to be clear.   If I am on a regional jet, the millionaires and billionaires have to use the same bathroom as me, yet I am closer to it.  Therefore, I can use it before we land and in spite of getting off the plane later, leapfrog the front row people who are using the bathroom in the airport while I am already on my way to the taxi line with an empty bladder.

Another socialist move:   I check my luggage so that I do not have to work hard to get overhead space. I figure if my luggage get’s lost then I will simply ask the airline to reimburse me.  I can only get paid so much in the socialism of the industry, so I make sure the contents of my luggage are not worth much.

What am I saying?  I don’t know.


A Boomer In Transition

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